What makes a man a man? Is it his actions at any given moment or the lifestyle he chooses to live?
I do not know when I became a man, but the fact that I am a man is the truth. Through a series of unfortunate events I became what I was. It was strange coming out of jail and stepping back out into the real world. The first thing I did was go see my friends, and what I found out next shocked me. No high school. It seems I was granted my fate to have a summer vacation even though I gave it up to spend it in jail.
The first things my friends would say to me were: how big I had gotten over the summer. It was kind of hard not to grow bigger. I spent a good amount of time eating healthy and using the punching bag. I guess that strength has not left me yet either. I am still physically strong, but I just do not look like it no more.
I finished my last years of school and went through a few girlfriends. There was that one from Baskin Robins, that one from Oshawa that dumped me because her friend did not like me.
I also started working for Reid’s Dairy at the age of 18; it was the first job I got out of jail. I only got it because my mother was the manager of another store and my mother and Christen were friends. There were some issues though because my mother used to be the manager of that store and well the staff expected someone like my mother. It took them awhile to realize I was not my mother.
My life was a life of school and work then. But after I finished OAC I had my diploma. I was officially a high school graduate. I was an off and on employee of Reid’s Dairy, Burger King, Steakfest and KFC. I moved out of the house around the age of 20 into the east side of town with my best friend Marzden Spence.
My first apartment was nothing to special it was 4 feet wide and about 10 feet long and almost six feet high. Did I mention I split it with my best friend? We lived in a shit hole to be exact, and he was not working. I was working and paying our rent. We spent about 5 dollars one month on food. That was how broke we were. Thank god my mom started managing the Reid’s Dairy by my house and I was able to get some groceries for free.
I soon after got a job then at the new Denny’s that opened up in Pickering. Well both Marzden and I did. I must admit I was a big flirt, every girl there I would hit on. But I have always been flirtatious; it was always easier for me to flirt with a girl than to pick one up. I ended up working fulltime nights at Denny’s and part time days at Reid’s Dairy in Ajax. My boss Diane made me quit because I was getting sick from working both jobs and trying to support myself. I thank her for helping me leave the company in good terms. That would be the last time to this date that I had worked for Reid’s Dairy.
I finally made enough to move out of the crack house and in with a fellow worker, Ladi. She had an apartment right across the street from Denny’s. It would be very convenient. Although working night shifts was something I was used to from the 2 years I did at Burger King I knew I hated it with a passion. I gave up a lot of my life after school to work. I was suppose to go to university, but having bills and saving money to go was just impossible.
I would fall in love at work. There was this girl Erin Belanger. We went to the same high school, and we lived in the same area when I went to public school in Pickering. We also played hockey with the same people. We also worked the night shift together. We sat at the beach looking at the stars, and went to the movies together. Of course we were the butt of many rumours at work. I personally didn’t care. I can safely say Erin was the first girl I loved. It was too bad it was something that would never full develop. Erin was to go to the east coast and do her university thing. I won’t go into specific details because this part of my life I rather not have the whole world knowing. I will admit though I was pretty heart broken about the whole thing. I took it really bad, and I missed her. It would actually be hard for me to love again after this.
At this time Marzden was seeing this crack whore, and I believe her name was Amanda or something. He had his own place with her down in the south part of Pickering. I would go over and hang out with him and well… get drunk. One time while Marzden was there with Amanda, Krista and Amanda’s friend who worked at Denny’s too I blurted out my feelings for Erin. All of the girls thought what I said was romantic, but I was embarrassed the next day. Never would I really talk of that again. My one regret was never telling her the words “I love you”. This seems to be a problem with me. I can never say them easily, because I just feel the person does not want to hear them. It is not that I do not want to say them; it is more like I have trouble saying them. I would rather get my teeth pulled from my mouth without any drugs than talk about how I feel.
Marzden saw I was doing pretty badly and invited me to live with him. Of course I took the offer and then I moved down with him, but soon after though his girlfriend went psycho from paranoia and attacked him. He was sent to jail for assault even though he did not technically touch her. She broke his nose and covered him in blood. The worst thing he did was hold butcher knives to protect him from her. But who really believes the male now days? He is always the guilty one.
So I moved back in with Ladi and I had her help in bailing Marzden out of jail. She actually was my last help. Marzden’s parents could not, and my financial situation sucked so I could not. I tried to put everything I owned as collateral but it did not work. It took Ladi’s mortgage.
So Marzden and I ended up living at Ladi’s house.
So we continued to work at Denny’s. One night though these people and Clayton, who was an enemy of Marzdens, came in one night. Of course the attitude of many people in my area was “I am tough shit”. They came over and picked a fight, the one guy sat next to me (because I was out front and not in the kitchen sitting with the manager and another waiter). I got the do you know who I am speech, and I replied nope and that I do not care. Then I got the do you know who he is speech and I replied yep. He then thought he was funny and took the paper I was reading and smacked me with it. Needless to say I did not take that too well. I turned around and punched him, (keep in mind we are sitting in a booth). Then to protect myself I hunched over a bit and began to throw uppercuts at him from my seated position. Eventually I pushed him off me; my manager was holding the taller one back who then began to throw punches at me. Several hit me in the side of the head; my ear is still sort of screwed up from that day. The one I punched off me went over to Clayton and grabbed a large knife. The waitresses all screamed, and the people in the restaurant did not know what to do. I think the commotion made him rethink his decision and he went back to his table and they all were trying to leave. I finally jumped out of the bench when the big one stopped punching me and ran into the kitchen and grabbed a butcher knife and ran out front. They were long gone, but that was a good thing. I would have definitely stabbed one of them without thinking twice. Fate had saved me once again.
My problems at Denny’s were extensive.
I was fired and hired, because they thought I was stealing food. Technically they were right and wrong about that. The only way I could eat was from Denny’s. So I took advantage of that. But not the way they said I did.
I was accused of smoking in the restaurant and written up. Penny, another manager, asked if I had any questions. I simply stated I did not smoke though. I have never smoked a cigarette and that is true to this day.
I was also accused of having sex in the fridge one night. Unfortunately I was on the video surveillance as being on the kitchen line all night. And Erin had been on the dining room floor all night.
My problems did not end at just work. Ladi was not the most trusting room mate, and she charged more than enough for rent. She also had the telephone in my name without telling me (which screwed me with Bell). She was basically taking advantage of both Marzden and I. She also helped run an escort service, and she had the “heat” stuck on me.
She eventually through me out and lied to the police. She never gave rent receipts and I could not prove I had paid my rent. She stole the money in my room, and it took the police and my mother to get my stuff out. It is embarrassing to have to have a cop there to get my stuff. I ended up moving my crap out by myself in the middle of February of 2003. I moved back home, but home was not the same place. A few years back my parents bought a house in Bowmanville and had lived there. There was no room for me, and I ended up sleeping on a lazi-boy in the basement with all my stuff locked in storage. I commuted back and forth from Denny’s for a few months. I did that until I just couldn’t do it no more, and I quit. I took a month off from working to find out what I really wanted to do with my life. I did not exactly know.
So I did a few jobs with my uncle in demolition. Oh how I hated it. Marzden then told me he was going to Belleville (it was June at this point) to see an old mutual friend from High School who was going to college at Loyalist College. The second time he went up there to party I joined him. I never really left when I moved to Belleville, I admit I used a lot of pot and drank a lot. I also was at the bar 5 times a week. Tripp Ave at the time was a trip to be on. I used the last pay check I earned from working for my uncle and on a last minute choice decided to register with Loyalist. I picked up a part time job at the Denny’s in Belleville and eventually got a place just outside Tripp Ave with Brian sometime in September.
I was officially registered with the college August 13th… my birthday. And I began classes for Print Journalism that September.
I had always been a writer of some sorts. I have written poetry and short stories so I picked something about writing in the Loyalist course calendar. But college for me would be an interesting trip on its own. One filled with love, hate, heartache and it would push me over the edge more than I wanted to go. Marzden went back to Pickering, and I was living with Brian. I was not prepared for what would come. I was not prepared for exactly who would come.
