One of those posts you keep meaning to post
Have you ever wondered where you are going in life? Me sometimes, well perhaps not always. I never know where I am going, and I never really plan that well. I do not know why. I look at my little brother’s life as well as my sisters and I think. About? Well they are all in different sports and activities. They win this and that. Who cares? Well not me really but it does make me think.
As my mother was telling me this (I went home for a few days for business) I blurted out the comment “Wow the kids have a more successful life than I did”. My mother said without thinking “Well it is because they have more ambition than you did”. So it is true, I do and did not have any ambition. Which I guess served some good in my life, while all the other kids were picking up smoking trying to be cool I said fuck it. I couldn’t care less. Out of 98 per cent of my friends I am one of the 2 per cent who have never smoked a cigarette in their life.
But in any case it is sad that I have no ambition. Perhaps it was beaten out of me. I can not say I do not have any ambition after all growing up I had those generic relies to those “so what do you want to be when you grow up” and answered them with the “a fireman, a policman, a space man and etc” phrases.
I couldn’t tell you what I grew up to be now, I still do not know. Perhaps when either Hell freezes over or I actually believe in a god is when I do. But me having any faith in an imaginary friend like “god or jesus” will not be happening. I do not have the juice, and I do not want it.
This is me:
I am 25 with no girlfriend, no wife and no love interest. I am single and spend every night alone. I do not have a real job; I do not have money or an investment. I do not own anything of value. I have no dreams, because I never really thought of any. I have no plans or ambitions for the future. I know where I would like to go, but as each day passes that like to go seems even more impossible.
We are all searching for something though in our lives. I strive and seek and sacrifice for it. But do we even find it. What we seek is the not to be sought, but in that futile knowledge we strive further and harder just to seek it. What we find ultimately as a substitute to what we seek is truly up to us. Because what we find is just a figment of the truth, but an absolute truth unto itself. If we think therefore we are, then if we seek therefore we find. But if the seeking is not to be sought we discover something more in that process than we ever would have thought, and that is 10 times more valuable than whatever we were seeking to begin with.
Yes Canada, I am fucked up.
As my mother was telling me this (I went home for a few days for business) I blurted out the comment “Wow the kids have a more successful life than I did”. My mother said without thinking “Well it is because they have more ambition than you did”. So it is true, I do and did not have any ambition. Which I guess served some good in my life, while all the other kids were picking up smoking trying to be cool I said fuck it. I couldn’t care less. Out of 98 per cent of my friends I am one of the 2 per cent who have never smoked a cigarette in their life.
But in any case it is sad that I have no ambition. Perhaps it was beaten out of me. I can not say I do not have any ambition after all growing up I had those generic relies to those “so what do you want to be when you grow up” and answered them with the “a fireman, a policman, a space man and etc” phrases.
I couldn’t tell you what I grew up to be now, I still do not know. Perhaps when either Hell freezes over or I actually believe in a god is when I do. But me having any faith in an imaginary friend like “god or jesus” will not be happening. I do not have the juice, and I do not want it.
This is me:
I am 25 with no girlfriend, no wife and no love interest. I am single and spend every night alone. I do not have a real job; I do not have money or an investment. I do not own anything of value. I have no dreams, because I never really thought of any. I have no plans or ambitions for the future. I know where I would like to go, but as each day passes that like to go seems even more impossible.
We are all searching for something though in our lives. I strive and seek and sacrifice for it. But do we even find it. What we seek is the not to be sought, but in that futile knowledge we strive further and harder just to seek it. What we find ultimately as a substitute to what we seek is truly up to us. Because what we find is just a figment of the truth, but an absolute truth unto itself. If we think therefore we are, then if we seek therefore we find. But if the seeking is not to be sought we discover something more in that process than we ever would have thought, and that is 10 times more valuable than whatever we were seeking to begin with.
Yes Canada, I am fucked up.
posted by Michael Darling at Thursday, April 27, 2006
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